Post by RCA Webmaster on Jun 12, 2023 6:13:52 GMT -5
Decorum in debate is also guided by Robert’s Rules of Order, which states:
When a question is pending, a member can condemn the nature or likely consequences of the proposed measure in strong terms, but [the member] must avoid personalities, and under no circumstances can [the member] attack or question the motives of another member. The measure and not the member is the subject of the debate.
====================================
Proposal for 2023 ABM
No: 6 Title: Proposal to revise the sentence “We restrict ourselves to one partner…” from the section entitled “Who We Are” on page 2 of the Basic Text to “In our coupleship we strive to express our physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual love with our partner.
Submitter: RCA Literature Committee’s Ad Hoc Committee on Diversity and Inclusion Type: Amendment to Fellowship Approved Literature.
Motion:
The Committee moves to edit the second sentence from the first paragraph of page 2 of the Basic Text. Ballot Proposal Six is to delete the following text shown in italic strikeout type and to replace it with the text shown in boldface type:
“Although we have many relationships, we have only one coupleship.We restrict ourselves to one partner for the full expression of our physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual love. In our coupleship, we strive to express our physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual love with our partner. We try to honor the special nature of our love by doing spontaneous things with our partners. It can be easy to become so preoccupied with our work, children, elderly parents, or other distractions that we neglect our partners. We may feel there will always be time for our partners later so we do not pay them the special attention they deserve today. A nurturing, healthy coupleship requires regular attention to function at a level that gives the highest satisfaction. Keeping our focus on our love can bring pleasures we never believed possible.”
This same sentence appears on the RCA webpage “Who We Are,” which can be accessed from the following link: recovering-couples.org/webdocs/program/welcome_newcomer_2020.pdf. Ballot Proposal Six includes the deletion and replacement of this sentence to conform with the change to the Basic Text.
This same sentence appears in the RCA pamphlet, “Who We Are,” both in the English and Spanish-language versions. Ballot Proposal Two includes the deletion and replacement of this sentence to conform with the change to the Basic Text.
Submitter’s Rationale:
If passed this proposal would implement a recommendation made by the RCA Literature Committee’s Ad Hoc Committee on Diversity and Inclusion (“Committee”). The Committee was appointed at the direction of the RCA Board of Directors to look for ways to help make RCA more diverse, inclusive, and welcoming to all, including in its website, literature, and meetings. RCA’s rules require the approval of the fellowship to make changes to RCA’s Basic Text. That is why this ballot proposal has been submitted to you for your consideration.
The Committee recommended the deletion of the second sentence because it was not inclusive and welcoming. Subsequent discussion with the Board of Trustees suggested that it would be more appropriate to replace this sentence rather than to delete it entirely. Therefore, Ballot Proposal Six replaces this sentence with language which is more inclusive and which the submitter of this proposal believes is more in keeping with the principles of RCA and the experience of most couples.
The sentence, as it originally was written in the Basic Text, implies that we do not express our love physically, emotionally, or spiritually to anyone other than our partners. For many of us, that is not a true statement. When we greet family members or friends, we may express our love physically by embracing them. For many of us, we express our emotions freely with close personal friends, confidants, and family members whom we love. We may express our spiritual love with our spiritual leaders and with others who share our faith or spiritual values. Rather than defining ourselves restrictively, the revised version of this sentence positively reflects our aspiration as couples in recovery to express our physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual love with our partner.
Board of Trustees’ Comments on Proposal Six
The Board endorses (11-1) Ballot Proposal #6, with one minority opinion in opposition.
The Board's endorsement is based on the submitter's rationale, which is based on the report of the Literature Committee's Ad Hoc Committee on Diversity and Inclusion, including:
1. The existing language is contrary to our Third Tradition.
2. The change in the language of the second sentence of the first paragraph of page 2 of the Basic Text does not change the core message of our fellowship.
3. We refuse No couple who wishes to recover.
4. The definition of the word "monogamous" is ambiguous.
The minority opinion objecting to the proposal adopts the submitters rationale in their proposal to the Board (Ballot Proposal #5).
Structure Committee’s Comments on Proposal Six
While the proposal replacement sentence is a positive statement the Structure Committee finds it objectionable due to what is being replaced. What is being removed is a clear boundary of monogamous relationships. In its rationale the Ad Hoc Committee states the current sentence implies that we do not express our love to anyone other than our partners. The Structure Committee respectfully disagrees with this assessment. There is nothing in the current language that precludes RCA members from expressing our love for others. We are simply expected “to honor the special nature of our love with our partner”.
0 Yay 6 Nay
When a question is pending, a member can condemn the nature or likely consequences of the proposed measure in strong terms, but [the member] must avoid personalities, and under no circumstances can [the member] attack or question the motives of another member. The measure and not the member is the subject of the debate.
====================================
Proposal for 2023 ABM
No: 6 Title: Proposal to revise the sentence “We restrict ourselves to one partner…” from the section entitled “Who We Are” on page 2 of the Basic Text to “In our coupleship we strive to express our physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual love with our partner.
Submitter: RCA Literature Committee’s Ad Hoc Committee on Diversity and Inclusion Type: Amendment to Fellowship Approved Literature.
Motion:
The Committee moves to edit the second sentence from the first paragraph of page 2 of the Basic Text. Ballot Proposal Six is to delete the following text shown in italic strikeout type and to replace it with the text shown in boldface type:
“Although we have many relationships, we have only one coupleship.
This same sentence appears on the RCA webpage “Who We Are,” which can be accessed from the following link: recovering-couples.org/webdocs/program/welcome_newcomer_2020.pdf. Ballot Proposal Six includes the deletion and replacement of this sentence to conform with the change to the Basic Text.
This same sentence appears in the RCA pamphlet, “Who We Are,” both in the English and Spanish-language versions. Ballot Proposal Two includes the deletion and replacement of this sentence to conform with the change to the Basic Text.
Submitter’s Rationale:
If passed this proposal would implement a recommendation made by the RCA Literature Committee’s Ad Hoc Committee on Diversity and Inclusion (“Committee”). The Committee was appointed at the direction of the RCA Board of Directors to look for ways to help make RCA more diverse, inclusive, and welcoming to all, including in its website, literature, and meetings. RCA’s rules require the approval of the fellowship to make changes to RCA’s Basic Text. That is why this ballot proposal has been submitted to you for your consideration.
The Committee recommended the deletion of the second sentence because it was not inclusive and welcoming. Subsequent discussion with the Board of Trustees suggested that it would be more appropriate to replace this sentence rather than to delete it entirely. Therefore, Ballot Proposal Six replaces this sentence with language which is more inclusive and which the submitter of this proposal believes is more in keeping with the principles of RCA and the experience of most couples.
The sentence, as it originally was written in the Basic Text, implies that we do not express our love physically, emotionally, or spiritually to anyone other than our partners. For many of us, that is not a true statement. When we greet family members or friends, we may express our love physically by embracing them. For many of us, we express our emotions freely with close personal friends, confidants, and family members whom we love. We may express our spiritual love with our spiritual leaders and with others who share our faith or spiritual values. Rather than defining ourselves restrictively, the revised version of this sentence positively reflects our aspiration as couples in recovery to express our physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual love with our partner.
Board of Trustees’ Comments on Proposal Six
The Board endorses (11-1) Ballot Proposal #6, with one minority opinion in opposition.
The Board's endorsement is based on the submitter's rationale, which is based on the report of the Literature Committee's Ad Hoc Committee on Diversity and Inclusion, including:
1. The existing language is contrary to our Third Tradition.
2. The change in the language of the second sentence of the first paragraph of page 2 of the Basic Text does not change the core message of our fellowship.
3. We refuse No couple who wishes to recover.
4. The definition of the word "monogamous" is ambiguous.
The minority opinion objecting to the proposal adopts the submitters rationale in their proposal to the Board (Ballot Proposal #5).
Structure Committee’s Comments on Proposal Six
While the proposal replacement sentence is a positive statement the Structure Committee finds it objectionable due to what is being replaced. What is being removed is a clear boundary of monogamous relationships. In its rationale the Ad Hoc Committee states the current sentence implies that we do not express our love to anyone other than our partners. The Structure Committee respectfully disagrees with this assessment. There is nothing in the current language that precludes RCA members from expressing our love for others. We are simply expected “to honor the special nature of our love with our partner”.
0 Yay 6 Nay